In the USA, call:
For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
By Regina Peery
It was a cloudy Easter morning as I made the drive to the cemetery to put flowers on Marcus's grave. I kept thinking to myself - this is not what I should be having to do on Easter. My brother should still be here celebrating the holidays with all of us.
Last Easter we joked about the food being bad at our family dinner and that we might leave to go to Sonic. I remember everything about that day - little did I know it would be the last holiday we would share together.
I cried all the way to the cemetery, but when I arrived I became busy pulling weeds around his headstone, angry at the situation that I now deal with daily. I constantly question what I could have said or done to change things. Did I let him down somehow? I remember thinking I hope that you are at peace because I'm sure not.
As I removed the flowers we had put on at Christmas, something rustled from underneath. Since Marcus is buried on a hill in the country, I just knew it was a snake. As I looked closer - it was a baby bunny - as if to say Happy Easter - I'm o.k.
With a chuckle of laughter, a smile immediately came over my face. I had found my peace - what an Easter gift!
The following week, I went to visit my parents. Usually the first thing I notice when I pull in the driveway is the barn straight ahead where Marcus died. On this day, there was a baby bunny in the yard waiting to greet me. O.K. - I thought - I get it.
I still miss Marcus every day - his laugh, his hugs, or just the way he called me his little sister. Yet I'm learning to let go because I know he's o.k. I'm a better person because he was in my life and I'm forever changed because I have to say goodbye for now.
But I'm so fortunate that I've realized at a young age that if you love someone while they're here, that love can teach you more than you ever thought and it is always with you - wherever you go - just look for the "bunnies".
The GRief After Suicide Support (GRASS) group first met on Dec. 1, 2005 and has met continuously since then.
You may find these other resources helpful.